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Dear Ms. Netiquette:
I thank you for your advice. Most is common sense and should be used daily. Now here is my question for you….
I love playing games and meeting new people online and keeping it that way– ONLINE! But what do you do when someone asks for money… giving their sad stories, and at times sounding really desperate. I can’t help but think that it is not only rude but rather nervy. After all, they don’t know who I am!
This is done in private chat, and I have been asked more than once! This has happened while I was in a tourney, and sometimes while I was just playing a game. Is this legal? And can we stop it or do we just ignore it? I wanted to tell this person what I really felt but it was not very polite. It came down to get a job like most of us have, and learn some manners.
What do you say?
Signed, Disgusted
| Dear Disgusted, It is unfortunate on many levels that this sort of thing occurs on Pogo. On one hand many of us may want to be sympathetic to the situations in which people might find themselves. On the other hand Pogo is not really the appropriate avenue for players to be requesting such help. So, what do you do when someone begins to tell you why they need money? The polite –and right– thing to do is to firmly state that you are not able to help them. Do this as soon as you recognize where the conversation is going and then immediately end the conversation. While you might be tempted to tell these players to get a job or learn some manners, it’s really not nice to do so, as you have no idea what their real situation may be. Maybe they really are desperate. If so, they need to understand that Pogo is not the place to ask for that kind of help. There are numerous organizations that help people through difficult times. Unfortunately, in many cases these people aren’t desperate at all, but have figured out a scam that has worked in the past. There are people who try to con others into giving them money. And let’s face it– sometimes people are gullible. For instance, my Uncle Petey once gave a well dressed man on the street $40.00 to “buy a bus ticket” back home after this man’s “car” apparently “broke down.” My dear, sweet Uncle also gave this man his address so that the man could “send him a check to pay him back.” Of course, he never saw the $40.00 again and he was extremely lucky the man never showed up at his doorstep. The bottom line is that we don’t know whether or not these people are truly in need. If they are, we can sympathize, but we need to be clear that Pogo is not an acceptable place for them to be asking for financial help. If they are con artists, well, they need to know that their con will not work on Pogo players. Either way, solicitation for money is a violation of our Terms of Service, and if you feel like the player in question is attempting to con you, then you can file an Abuse Report Form and let our Customer Support representatives figure it out. |
Ms. Netiquette,
Well, there you go again giving bad advice to good people regarding the usage of leetspeak or “netspeak,” as you so fondly call it.
Your advice to “quack like a duck while in the pond” doesn’t help Mike or others like him who want to –and take the time to– type out complete words when in a room with other Pogo players. No wonder other players are calling him an idiot when you condone using netspeak and even advise him and others to do so.
I tried your advice and you know what? I think it’s stupid. I don’t even know (or want to know) what half of those silly abbreviations mean. Typing “thank you” takes the same amount of time as typing “ty” and it’s so much more personal.
Using abbreviations cheapens the act of communicating and impersonalizes it. Instead of typing, “wtg” or “gg”, type out the words. And add a name.
Example: “Way to go Mike!” is much better than “wtg.”
And regardless of what you state, or think, it is not the norm to use abbrevations while communicating with others on the Internet. Perhaps on big sites, which is not the norm, people talk or chat with each other like that, but in most other forms of Internet communication, they do not.
Please stop advising Pogo players to use the abbreviations and encourage them to type complete words. Then maybe people like Mike won’t be called an “idiot” by other Pogo players. Hang in there Mike, I’ve experienced what you have and I blame Ms. Netiquette for her abbreviation-encouraging advice for that.
What have you to say about that Ms. Netiquette?
Getting my coffee and waiting,
Tired of being called names for typing complete words
| Dear Tired Of Being Called Names for Typing Complete Words, Whew– what a mouthful! I wanted to call you TOBCNFTCW, but thought you might find that a bit cheeky. I’m glad you’ve got your coffee, because I’ve just poured myself a cup of hot steaming tea, and I’ve taken out three shorbread cookies to help me answer! You ask “What have you to say about that Ms. Netiquette?” Well, I’ll tell you! Honestly, I think you misunderstood me to some degree. If you recall from my response last week, I mentioned that I rarely use “netspeak” myself. And furthermore, I told Mike that he certainly has the right to spell out the words he uses if he wishes, and that the people who insulted him were rude. You are welcome to blame me all you want, but the truth is netspeak has been around and in use on Pogo far longer than I’ve been doing this column, and it’s not going away anytime soon. This is why I encourage people to accept it and perhaps even try it themselves. You can fight it all you want, but the reality is that it’s here to stay so you may as well get used to it. This does not mean that you have to partake in it yourself, nor does it excuse the rudeness exhibited by players who have insulted those who do not use netspeak. I am simply saying that you do not have to use it, but other people do use it, so you might as well get used to it. |
Dear Nettie,
Your advice has proved to be invaluable. For that I thank you.
One of the people on my friends list sends me spam at least once a week. As she is a sensitive soul and easily bruised, I do not want to hurt her feelings by asking her to stop.
If I report her messages to me as spam, would she be notified who reported her? If I was not identified as the person who complained, then I could take the coward’s way out.
Thank you.
NOSPAM SAM
| Dear No Spam Sam, The answer to your questions is no, she would not be notified as to who reported her. The most polite action, of course, is to send her a message letting her know that what she is sending you is considered spam, and that you would appreciate it if she would remove your name from her forward list. But you are in an interesting position. You obviously like this person, and you do not want to hurt her by sending her such a message. In this case, it could be any number of people who actually report her, so you are safe should you decide to send in an Abuse Report Form. If this is her first reported offense, she will receive a warning explaining what spam is and that it is a violation of our Terms of Service. Hopefully that will quell her desire to continue sending such messages. |
