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Dear Ms. Netiquette,
I hope this will be considered for publishing, as I believe so many share the same unfortunate confused “angst” or anxiety about my issue. The issue is how to communicate with someone you don’t know, but want to share something simple, friendly and positive… without inadvertently offending them? People are just so sensitive these days. I want to make a difference, and I know that the actions of a single person can and does make a difference. So, occasionally, I take a chance.
I took a chance again, last night, because I was inspired by this member’s profile, which I looked up ONLY to find out what game her favorite badge displayed was from. I loved it and wanted to get that badge. Just curious, I decided to read her profile, and it was so refreshing and real, and had that curious essence of humble, but self-assured, content, wise. She also shared many of my own interests, which is not often found.
I don’t know why I simply didn’t send her a message instead of clicking on Guestbook, and selecting the option to make an entry. I simply, in my ignorance, thought I would be simply sending a message, and it was very polite, short, asking a simple question based on a hobby we share, and sharing that I found her profile to be a pleasant surprise. That was it. I did not expect a reply, but I hoped for one.
I have no idea if she received it, is aware of it, or auto-blocks, but for one, I didn’t get a reply… yet; second, I feel I may have erred by sending my message via her guestbook, and third, I cannot find any record of having sent it. Is that not stored, same as sent messages are stored?
I read all I could find in your articles and letters regarding the Guestbook feature, but there was not much, and I wonder if you would consider creating a “Guestbook Manual”, and a detailed source of info regarding proper etiquette when “making an entry into someone’s guestbook”, and things to consider and the do’s and don’ts. I mean, a formal and thorough guide as a reference to members.
Thank you for taking the time to read my “issue”, and I appreciate the opportunity you offer for members to write to you for advice.
Questioning Guestbook Etiquette
| Dear Questioning Guestbook Etiquette, You are such a sweet person to be so concerned. You utilized the Guestbook precisely the way it was intended. Players have the option of making their profiles private, and since she did not and had inspirational messages there, I’m sure she expects (and receives) messages from time to time. She did set her Guestbook to not automatically “Approve” messages, so she must approve messages manually and that may take a little while before she gets to it. If she does not approve it, do not take it personally – there may be a number of reasons she doesn’t – and they likely have more to do with her or her friends than you. Alas, there is no way to re-read the Guestbook message you sent unless or until she approves it. As for a handy guide on Everything You Wanted to Know about Guestbook!, it already exists! Check it out and please let me know if there’s anything that I may have missed. |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
I appreciate that Pogo has guidelines in place to help promote and maintain and fun and family friendly environment.
It’s easy to report an abusive user when the person is being unruly. How should we handle offensive users who aren’t being abusive? What I mean by that is the very nature of their Pogo ID which should be been screened, is offensive.
You have a user with a very offensive user name which, at first glance, the curse is fairly obvious. The player has spelled a common curse word using the NATO phonetic alphabet (Alpha, Beta, Charlie, Foxtrot, etc…) I read it carefully to make sure it wasn’t an illusion. It’ not. This user has only been with Pogo since Dec. 2011.
Are there not filters to catch user names such as this one?
A Concerned User and Parent
| Dear A Concerned User and Parent, To answer your question – you should handle offensive screen names precisely the same way you handle unruly players. Report them! In fact, if you look at the Abuse Report, you’ll see that the last option is “Bad Screen Name (Vulgar, Spoof, Impersonation)”. Choose that option, and in a case like this, I’d recommend explaining it with something like “Player spelling curse word using NATO phonetic alphabet”. Not everyone is familiar with the phonetic alphabet and might not catch the connection. While we do filter many curse words, we simply can’t catch them all, and to recreate every possible combination of swear words in every language, code, or character facsimile would be impossible. Instead, we catch the main ones and depend upon our playing public to report the more “creative” cases. I have looked into the screen name you provided (which I did edit out to save innocent eyes) and have alerted the proper department so that they can take care of the situation. |
Hello Ms. Netiquette,
I have a question for you and your readers. Why is it so impossible for people to say “hi” when someone enters the room and says “hi”, or “hi, gla”? It’s not like they are asking for your life story.
I understand some people don’t use chat, and others don’t like to chat, but what happened to common courtesy? It’s not like they are asking personal questions.
I agree, some people decide to chat up a storm, but when is it wrong to make a person feel like they are there and alive and part of the game they are playing? Don’t they realize, some people have no one to talk to, or are just trying to be friendly?
It drives me bonkers when they do that! And sometimes depending on the game, it takes someone a while to say hi, which i then reply with a ty. NOT DIFFICULT!!! makes me think people are forgetting how to be nice and polite!
Thanks,
Waiting for Courtesy
| Dear Waiting for Courtesy, I can feel your frustration, and I’m sorry that you’ve felt that people have been unfriendly towards you. However, I do think you did answer your own question: “I understand some people don’t use chat, and others don’t like to chat…”. Furthermore, there are a lot of people who become so engrossed in a game they don’t pay any attention to the chat box at all. So, my dear, you must not take it personally. Nor should you blame the screen names you see in the chat rooms. This is just one of the realities of playing a game online. Sometimes you’ll end up in a chatty room, and sometimes you won’t. If you are looking to be more social, I do recommend that you engage in the many delightful (or perhaps a few of the not-so-delightful) conversations that take place on our Pogo Forums. You can also join one of the many leagues that play on Pogo. Just do a search for “Pogo leagues” in your favorite search engine and go from there. |
Have an etiquette question for Ms. Netiquette? Email msnetiquette@pogo.com
Want to chat with others about this column? Visit the Pogo Forums!
