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Dear Ms. Netiquette,
I’m trying to win a 2004 Euchre Badge and I need to win rated games to win the Badge, so I went into a Beginner’s room because I don’t play very often. I was actually surprised at the number of rated games in progress. I wondered if I stumbled upon a tournament night. When I saw a chance to sit at a table, I took it.
After a few seconds, I found myself alone in room Black ‘n’ Blue at table 3. I waited for others to join and one by one people asked for permission to join and I let everyone in. A few hands went by and things seemed to be going okay. One player asked why I was so slow because it took me a few seconds to make a decision on a card. A few seconds later, they left the room. The game continued on fine as far as I could tell. Then the player to my left asked about a card that they sent to their partner or thought they sent. The partner responded that it must have gone to me. There was some conversation going on that I wasn’t really paying attention to and then when I saw the word “newbie” typed I realized people were talking about me.
All of the sudden I was being accused of cheating and using my girlfriend’s account to win the game or make my rating higher or something like that. First of all, how do you cheat in Euchre? And second, I’m not a guy. One person left and another player, we’ll call ProgressDestroyer, convinced the other player to join her and boot me out.
I went back in the room and she continued to berate me over and over and accused me of cheating and ruining someone else’s game or trying to lower their rating. She told me to go find someone we’ll call “Lizzy”, whoever that is. I kept telling her that I had no idea what she was talking about but she didn’t believe me. She kept trying to get me to leave.
Then she accused me of having a new profile picture and trying to trick people into thinking I was someone else but she wasn’t fooled. I told her she was a psycho and I continued to tell her that I had no idea what she was talking about or who “Lizzy” was.
I’ve been a member since 2004 and NEVER have I come across anyone like this or had someone accuse me of cheating. I don’t cheat and I don’t like it when other players lose on purpose to help someone with a Badge. I come to Pogo to relax and enjoy myself. This “lady” is out of control. As I’m typing this, she is still in the room refusing to leave because she doesn’t want me to win the game. Of course, I’m being just as stubborn by staying in the room too. I finally had to turn off chat because she was typing nonstop. I just wanted someone else to know what was going on and I hope no one else has to put up with her crazy rants.
Thanks,
Fish Out of Water
| Dear Fish Out of Water,I’m so sorry to hear that you had such a horrible experience playing Euchre. I’m not a detective, but I suspect you got caught up in a case of mistaken identity by a cast of miscreants. It sounds like these folks are regulars in the rooms and they suspected that you were playing the part of a “newbie” in an attempt to cause them some sort of upset. Alas, these things happen from time to time, and while it’s not easy to just let it slide, we do ourselves a favor by doing just that. Nobody ever regrets not “getting into it” with people who aren’t worth their time. You say that you wrote this during what sounds like a standoff. I’d actually advise against repeating that in the future. While it may feel “right” or “justified” at the time, ultimately, you end up wasting your energies over someone who is clearly not worth it. I’m sorry you had to live through it! But, I also understand, because we’ve all been there. Many years ago on a different site I spent nearly 7 hours once waiting for someone to take their turn before my sensibilities kicked in and just when I was about to give up – they resigned (or possibly lost connection to the Internet – I’ll never know). And I remember that while being mildly pleased by that, I was mostly just in awe of how petty and ridiculous the whole thing was. Those are 7 hours I’ll never get back, but I did learn a valuable lesson. So, my advice is simple: as soon as you recognize that the people around you are not the type of people you enjoy spending time with – make your apologies and find another room. There are plenty available! |
Dear Ms. Netiquette
I was in a room the other day where there were about 5 to 6 people talking in a totally different type of language. This language went from French to Spanish like four different times.
Somebody else was in the room for about 3 to 4 hours while this chat was going on. I guess he was getting upset because he didn’t know what they were talking about and he said something in the chat about how they should speak English since this is the United States where we all speak English. The guy went on to say something like: “It looks like all of you have something to hide from the whole chat if your talking like that.”
I finally asked: “If you have a problem with the way they talk in Spanish or French why don’t you just mute them?” The guy went on and on about how the room was an English room and not a French or Spanish one.
I felt kinda bad after I said that, but the people who were talking in another language weren’t in any violation of the Terms of Service. They were just talking the way they wanted to. Who knows – maybe one of their friends didn’t know English yet and was working on it and that does take time. Or maybe they were trying to learn Spanish and French.
Was I in the right for telling that member who told the other members to speak English if he had a problem with it to just to mute them?
Thank You,
It’s a Big World
| Dear It’s a Big World,You certainly weren’t wrong by making that suggestion, and I’m sure if any of the chatters do understand English, they appreciate your support. You are correct – there are no rules about what languages you can chat in on Pogo – provided you don’t break the Terms of Service (which apply in any language). So, whether people like it or not – they’re going to run into other languages from time to time. It is a big world, and while we may worry that what is being said in the other language is “suspect”, more than likely it’s just benign run-of-the-mill stuff that people say in chat rooms (in English) every day on Pogo, and we’ll do ourselves a big favor by not worrying about it. If it annoys us, we have the ability to mute those players. So, if you see another language in chat, and you don’t want to see it – use the mute! |
Dear Ms. Netiquette:
In response to “Kerfuddled,” about the child in the uncensored game room. I understand her feelings about this because it happened to me when my children were young. I forgot to log out of Pogo before I went into work. My Pogo buddy sent me a “Pogo Message” and God help my daughter when I got that mail.
Needless to say, she NEVER did that again, because not only did I ground her from the computer for three months, I also NEVER forgot to sign out of Pogo ever again. You have to monitor your children on the computer, because there is way to much out there that could sway your child into doing the wrong thing. There are so many ways to make sure your child is not getting on the computer without your knowledge. One of my favorites was that I would take the keyboard and mouse with me to work.
And to make it even more difficult I set up a password so that nobody but me could get in, just in case they “just happened to stumble upon an extra mouse or keyboard”.
I feel “Kerfuddled” is only trying to help out by letting that parent know what is going on while she is not around. I could not thank my friend enough for letting me know about my child’s attitude on Pogo. Of course I did get a nasty graham from TOS, but because I handled the situation immediately, it was only a warning and nothing came of it. I don’t feel that TOS is unfair when it comes to situations like this because they do give you plenty of time to rectify the situation.
Hope my measly 2 cents helps a little bit.
:::::::climbing down from my soap box and heading on over to BINGO ROOM::::::::::
8-Year Pogoholic
| Dear 8-Year Pogoholic,Thank you very much for your real world example of exactly what Kerfuddled was talking about in last week’s column. But, I do think the situation is a bit different – your friend knew you well enough to know that your child would get no more than a grounding and a stern talking to. Kerfuddled did not know the parent very well and did not want to cause any unnecessary upset to the child if the parent was… hmm…. how do I put this? Less than a great parent? Thus, my advice was simply to inform the parent that the child was online and not to divulge any sort of behavior. If the child behaved inappropriately, it would likely be cause for an Abuse Report, and the parent would see it if the report was deemed valid. Finally, I’d like to commend you for taking those precautions to ensure your child did not get on the Internet again! You gave us all food for thought! |
Have an etiquette question for Ms. Netiquette? Email msnetiquette@pogo.com
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