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Dear Ms Netiquette,
I have been a member of Pogo for some time now. I love Spooky Slots.
This morning I went into my regular room and was noticing two people chatting. I could not believe how rude and mean they were being against people with disabilities. They were talking about being in a grocery store and not liking when they saw regular people using the power chairs.
Regular people I ask? I am disabled but I don’t look disabled. You can’t tell if I am disabled or not. I have disabled plates on my car and some times I even use a cane for walking. But for the most part you can’t tell. I wanted to butt in and say “Hey, I’m disabled and just by looking at me you cannot tell. Please stop judging people that you know nothing about.”
There are people who are disabled that don’t have any visible disabilities. Not everyone has to be in a wheel chair or walk like they are disabled. What gives people the right to judge another? Maybe that person was using the power chair in the store because they can’t walk very far? Maybe they have heart problems or some other illness that makes it hard for them to get around. Like me.
This website is supposed to be fun even in the chat area. But I got so sick and offended by what these two people were saying I just turned off chat.
Please I hope you post my letter to make people aware that disability does not always mean what you think it means and you have no right to judge people.
Think Before You Judge!
| Dear Think Before You Judge!, It never ceases to amaze me how close minded some folks are. You’d think by now it wouldn’t phase me, but I must admit it still surprises me how ignorant some folks can be. I’m terribly sorry you had to be witness to such narrow-mindedness. Unfortunately, you’ll come into contact with these types of people from time to time, and in my opinion, you handled it exactly how you should have. You bit your tongue and turned them off. Had you said something to them, it’s likely they would have turned their attention on you and it could have gotten a whole lot worse. By turning off your chat, you essentially reduced their discussion to what it was – not worthy of your time. There will always be insensitive people, and they’ll always yackety yack or clickety clack. Ignoring them and focusing on people who will inspire you, enlighten you, or simply brighten your day is a much better use of your time. |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
Unfortunately I am married to someone who feels that it is ok to “flirt” and hit on women while he is on Pogo. There is a place on the Internet where a large group of rather nasty people gather and use webcams to facilitate the sexual nature of the conversation. I do not condone nor do I participate in the behavior and realize that the areas these people are using are not governed by Pogo rules.
Lately, he has been very vocal and sharing things that others need not see. A person who was in the room took it upon themselves to approach me with my husband’s behavior. They posted a note to my Guestbook and I responded. Unfortunately it wasn’t what they wanted to hear.
I just want people to know that there are some of us in situations that are way less than lackluster. I know that what he is doing is wrong, and I can do nothing about it. I can do nothing about it and feel that it is not my responsibility to hear about it.
Please people, telling me what he said or did serves only to hurt me more. Report the idiot and leave me out of it! I am not his mother, caretaker, or have any control over him.
Thanks for letting me vent.
No Longer a Wife
| Dear No Longer a Wife, It’s apparent from your letter how much this hurts, and I’m sorry that you’re you have to put up with the aftermath of your husband’s bad behavior, and even more sorry that you have to go through this at all. Unfortunately, it is human nature to inform wronged parties that they are being wronged. I don’t know what was said, but if this person was attempting to alert you of the situation, please do try to understand that his or her intentions were probably good. People who know you both who come across his bad behavior are likely to be shocked and may ask themselves “Would I want to know?” And, of course, when we’re not in the situation, the answer is usually “yes”. So, they take it upon themselves to be the informant in hopes that this will lead to a better situation for you. So while their intentions may be good, the “revelation” often serves to just cause more pain for the victim. Usually the wronged party is either fully aware or highly suspicious. Of course, every situation is different, and I imagine there are people who are grateful for information about situations they already suspect. It’s a really touchy situation. For many of us, we’re here to play and forget our troubles, so it just makes it all the worse when those troubles follow us here. I recommend that you remove these messages off your Guestbook page if you haven’t already done so, and if you believe this person had good intentions, you may just want to tell them something along the lines of: “Thanks for your concern. I’m aware of the situation and prefer not to think about it while I’m on Pogo.” If, on the other hand, you feel the person was taking some sort of pleasure in posting it, then I would block that person in your Profiles Settings I am, alas, merely an etiquette advisor who focuses on games and chat. I do hope that you can talk to someone about the bigger issue, and if you haven’t, I do encourage you to seek counsel with a therapist, or someone you can trust. My heart aches for what you’re going through, and I’m rooting for you. |
Good morning Ms. Netiquette.
I hope you are having a great day. I just wanted to say a big THANK YOU for your column. It makes me stop and think before I open my mouth in the lobby of rooms. I repeatedly see people trying to cause others problems. I go so far as to write a reply to them, and then I remember some of your columns about ignoring the troublemakers and I erase it all.
I now just remind the person they are trying to cause problems for, to just ignore them. That when they don’t get any attention they will leave. For the most part it does work.
I really hope the ones that are out to cause problems get the help they need to get back on the right track and start enjoying Pogo as it is meant to be enjoyed.
Again, Ms Netiquette, thank you for the columns and for making me laugh each week.
Laughing And Muting
| Dear Laughing And Muting, Thanks so much for your letter. Although this week’s column probably won’t provide much in the way of laughs, I did save your letter for last, as it is a lighthearted reminder from someone *besides* me that muting and ignoring troublemakers does work! Thank you so much, and “keep your right thumb on the ‘mute’!” That’s my new catchphrase! No, it doesn’t quite make sense, but it’s catchy! ;-) And while I have your attention – I will be taking a short vacation next week, so there will be no column. See you on the 21st! |
Have an etiquette question for Ms. Netiquette? Email msnetiquette@pogo.com
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