How Do I Politely Decline Unwanted Advances?

It looks like you’ve picked up an unwanted friend who won’t go away. While I don’t think he qualifies as “Stalker” quite yet, I think you are wise to nip this in the bud as quickly as possible – even if it means you set your security to a stronger level than you may normally like at least for a little while.

First things first: make sure you document everything he’s done thus far. Make sure you get his screen name, and any other information you can without actually asking him for it. If he starts to become a bigger problem, then this information will be very helpful in attempting to deal with him.

Next, let’s check your settings to keep this guy from finding you.

• Remove Him! Double check to see if he is listed on your Friends List. If so, take him off of it.

• Block Him! Take his screen name, and add it to the Blocked Players List

• Hide Yourself! On that same Blocked Players Page, check the box that says “Show my current location to players on my Friends List only”.

• Hide Your Profile! Go to the Settings Page, and under “Profile Settings” check the box that says “Only Friends Can View My Profile”.

• Limit Your Gifts! On that same Settings Page, look under “Gifts” where it says “Select who can send you gifts” and check the box that says “Only My Friends”.

• Limit Your Guestbook! On the same Settings Page, look under “Guestbook” where it says “Select who can leave comments in your Guestbook” and check the box that says “Only My Friends” Under “Comment Approval”, choose “Manually accept each comment.”

You can, of course, choose any of the other options that provide even greater limitations. This should take care of his ability to track you.

The next piece of advice you may already be practicing, which is to ignore him. The better you are at ignoring people like this, the sooner they get bored and move along. Some of these people are interested only giving others as much grief as possible.

Once you’ve committed to ignoring him, it’s incredibly important that you stick to your guns. For one small recognition on your part that he exists could spur him on and increase his efforts.

If he becomes a true stalker, and becomes more problematic, then I suggest you contact our Customer Support department and open up a discussion on the next steps to take.

Good luck!

Congratulations on your many bingos. I don’t doubt that you earned them all legitimately.

Unfortunately, there are people out there who do use “SCRABBLE” descrambing type programs that allow them to cheat, and while it’s still rude to accuse someone of cheating without any hard evidence, these players may be taking out their frustration over the situation on anyone they so much as think *might* be cheating.

Still, they should not be accusing you, and you shouldn’t have to defend yourself. But what should be and what is are often at odds.

So, my advice is, as always, deny it once and then move on. A simple: “I don’t cheat, I’m just a really good SCRABBLE player” is the only explanation you need to give. It’s the truth. If others want to discuss it further, resist the urge. The problem is not yours – it’s theirs. Let them wrangle with it, and move on.

You may need to find new SCRABBLE partners on occasion, but given the popularity of SCRABBLE, I don’t think that will be much of a problem.

I received a smattering of letters regarding my response to last week’s letter. Most people felt that reporting someone for an occasional drug reference was too harsh. And I agree.

However, the letter writer’s question was whether or not it was a Terms of Service violation, and under the right circumstances it can be.

I warned people last week about jumping in mid-conversation, and that some people could be recovering users discussing their past. However, I failed to discuss the far more prominent chat that discusses drug use in order to evoke a laugh or make a point about something silly.

Lots of players say things like “I must have been on crack” or “What was smoking?” in reference to something silly or illogical they may have done. Reasonable people do not make abuse reports for such obvious jokes.

In cases where people are talking about how high they are presently, and their chat seems to indicate that they are not sober, then you might consider reporting the player – especially if the chat is causing you and others discomfort.

So, before making a report, be sure beyond a reasonable doubt that the player in question is engaged in illegal activity. If it’s unclear and you just don’t like it, then simply mute them.