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Dear Ms. Netiquette,
Recently I was playing for a badge and was in a room by myself. Someone entered the room and started to play.
There was an auction and I clicked on one of the items. The other person called me rude for clicking on it since she had clicked on it also. This person said that I should have seen that she had bid on it, but on my screen there was nothing that said a bid had been placed on that item. I told them that I had not seen that and then she called me a liar!
I know I shouldn’t have let it get to me, but when someone calls me a liar it makes my temper flare. I responded with: “If I want to bid on an item, I will and if you don’t like it, too bad”. That person then told me to go someplace else to play, and I refused since I was in this room first.
I have attended real-life auctions before and the highest bidder gets the item.
My question– was I rude to bid on the same item as the other person? Personally, I feel that that person was the rude one.
Thank you,
To Bid or Not to Bid
| Dear To Bid or Not to Bid, No, you were not rude. You were accused of being rude for playing the game the way the game was intended to be played. The other player had totally unrealistic expectations and I agree, she was certainly less-than-polite by attempting to manipulate you into letting her win whatever item she wanted. If this had been a real-life auction, she would have likely been escorted right out the door. As for your temper flaring, who can blame you? Yes, I do try to remind folks that we are being better to ourselves when we recognize that some of these issues belong to the other person and that it will behoove everyone if we just ignore it and move on. I will be the first to admit that it’s easier said than done. Given the other player’s rudeness, I applaud you for standing up for yourself, staying in the room, and continuing to play. While she did succeed in upsetting you, you sent her a clear message that her behavior was unacceptable. |
Dear Nettie,
Sitting with a cup of tea– special blend– to calm down my nerves. I feel like writing to you with the question about what is happening in Pogo chat rooms.
Years ago when I joined this lovely gamesite I was always at ease playing and chatting. Sometimes talking about nonsense and sometimes discussing serious topics. And due to these chats I ended up with several virtual friends.
One I’ll be visiting in May this year (big voyage- France to USA) and the other I’ve known for about twenty years, but due to the fact that she lives in The Netherlands and I live in France, we don’t see each other very often and enjoy catching up while playing a game.
My friend isn’t a master of the English language, so we like to talk in our native language, the beautiful Dutch.
There are always players who asked about the origin of the language and it has often led to nice conversations. But it seems like within the last several months some players start being aggressive about the use of another language besides English in the chat rooms.
We apologize and ask them to mute us or ignore us. We could go private but, one: it feels like a mild sort of discrimination to go somewhere else to be able to speak and two: there are so many languages spoken on the streets, one more doesn’t seem like a big deal.
But today we were attacked by another player who accused us of being terrorists “planning to ruin her country”. She then discriminated against me due to my relationship status, and so on and so forth.
I really feel hurt about the way people react to each others’ differences. Does Pogo provide International chat rooms? or even gay friendly chat rooms?
My cup is empty and so I will finish my letter to you
Thanks for listening,
Just Wants Peace
| Dear Just Wants Peace, It’s easy, after an experience like you’ve just had, to feel like people in general have become more mean spirited. It does happen on occasion that we see a wave of unfriendliness caused by… I don’t know what– a bad economy? phases of the moon? I can’t say. But I can say that by and large you will find a lot more supportive people than the few bad apples you’ve had the unfortunate experience of running into lately. You’re doing everything right by reminding people that they can mute you. You may find, however, that the private room is an easy solution. You say that it seems like a mild form of discrimination, but I’d argue it’s more of a place where you can get some peace and privacy. As for being accused of being a “terrorist”, that’s just ignorance. There are people, sadly, who have a very limited world view and rather than finding the curiousity that the other players have had regarding the new language, they fear anything they don’t understand and attempt to put it into a context that they can understand. Your best bet is to report them, as accusing another player of being a terrorist is harrassment and is not acceptable behavior on Pogo. We do have “Rainbow” rooms on Pogo where many of our gay and gay friendly players gather. We do have some rooms designed for our UK players, but nothing specifically for International players. And before I finish my own cup of tea and this letter, let me encourage you to continue to be who you are and to continue being friendly to everyone. By being nice, friendly and helpful, you’re increasing the fun factor for everyone on Pogo. |
Hello Ms. Netiquette,
I am so tired of the accusations going on in all of the Pogo rooms. You play a game and the computer deals out cards. If you happen to win you’re accused of being a cheater and using a cheat program. What the heck is that, anyway? I wish you would inform all your users that you cannot use a program to play and win.
They are stalking people over it and calling people names. I was in game the other day and a player was cursing another player in lobby and one of them said to the other “I hope all your children get sick”! WOW! How rude is that?
Please help me address this.
Honest, Frustrated, Fed Up Player
P.S. I lose most of the games!
| Dear Honest, Frustrated, Fed Up Player, It’s certainly unfortunate that so many people are wrongly accused of being cheaters and I’m terribly sorry for everyone who has been wrongly accused. Unfortunately, there are such things as cheat programs that people can use for certain games. I’m not sure which game you’ve seen this happen, but it’s an issue in several of our games. In some games, it’s pretty obvious that someone is cheating. They’re in the room 24 hours a day, never say anything in the chat, and their account just continues to accrue tokens. In other games it’s not so easy. Furthermore, some players actually play honestly as well as or better than the cheat programs do, which is the source for a lot of wrong accusations. I have been accused of cheating myself in a certain word game. Not to toot my own horn (well, maybe just slightly), but I do quite well in many word games. I will give anyone who accuses me of cheating one or two lines of text in my own defense (and in the defense of all players), but after that, I cut them off. I keep it simple and short: “I don’t cheat. I don’t need to, because as you can see, I’m blessed to be good at this game.” If they continue, I will tell them to check my stats, as my win-loss ratio should prove that I lose frequently, too. If that doesn’t cause them to hush, I hush them myself with the Amazing Mute! If, before I’m able to mute them, they say something that violates the Terms of Service, I report them. For instance, if I tell you that I hope your children get sick, I have violated the Terms of Service, and if reported, I risk losing my account. Of course, most people who would say such a thing have already lost something far greater than their account long ago– their self respect and dignity. Unfortunately, most of these people don’t recognize how much easier life is when you maintain both of these qualities and they just set themselves up for perpetual misery. I know that sounds harsh, but it puts things into perspective and makes it easier to mute them and forget them. Life is finite, and you don’t want to waste your time defending yourself against false accusations from people who are so wrapped up in their own messed up world that they can’t listen to reason. So, in summary– unlike my many of Ol’ Nettie’s answers– keep it short. Let them know you’re not cheating. If they don’t believe you, that’s their problem, not yours. Play on and do the one thing they’d love to prevent you from doing: have fun! |
Dear Readers,
I want to thank everyone who sent Pogo gifts (through the Pogo gift feature) to me, Pogo_Spike, and to any other Pogo account.
These gifts are appreciated, and we thank you for them, but we have turned off the ability to receive gifts from players as Pogo employees generally only use the Pogo_ accounts for official purposes, and get free tokens and gems for those accounts. We don’t want you spending your hard earned tokens and gems on stuff we can get for free, but we do appreciate the sentiment.
Most Pogo employees have their own “play” accounts, so you never know when you might be playing against an actual Pogo employee!
We wish you a happy 2010 and thanks again!
Have an etiquette question for Ms. Netiquette? Email msnetiquette@pogo.com
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