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Nettie,
I know you get a lot of questions all the time about what to do if you receive unwanted communication, and I know to mute them.
I would like to know if I was right in muting this person.
I was working on my badge in Pogo Bowl, and this user started talking to me in the room. Very few people were in the room, so I was bothered that he singled me out to talk. I’ve never seen him before, so it’s not like he’s a friend of mine. I said “hi” back, being the nice, social person I am, but then it went downhill from there.
Nothing he said was rude or offensive. However, he was really nosey. He wanted to know my line of work because I made the comment that today is the only day I could work on my badge, and he wanted me to inform him of my age, my location, etc. Typical Internet chat, but again, I was bothered that he singled me out in the room.
I got tired of dodging his questions (I’d rather a conversation flow, I don’t like being “interviewed” in chat). He didn’t want to answer my questions. He preferred to ask me questions. So I muted him. It was either that or be rude to him and tell him to leave me alone.
Was I right in muting him, or should I have just answered his questions? Like I said, he wasn’t being rude or offensive. He was just getting on my nerves and didn’t seem to take a hint.
Signed,
Bit My Tongue Until It Bled
| Dear Bit My Tongue Until It Bled, While I applaud you biting your tongue, I do warn that you shouldn’t bite it to the point of bleeding. Last time I checked, they don’t make bandages for bleeding tongues! Seriously, any time you’re made to feel uncomfortable by someone’s line of questioning, or their topic of conversation, employ the mute! This player may have actually been fishing for your personal information in hopes of potentially figuring out your password and hijacking your account. Or he may have just been nosey. The fact that he did apparently single you out is enough to be concerned. Add to that the fact that he was reluctant to answer your questions, and you’ve got solid reasons to be suspicious. While it could simply be that he saw something in your Pogo Profile that piqued his interest, it could also be that he was, indeed, attempting to befriend you in an effort to get personal information. Either way, it sounds like you were polite until you became uncomfortable. You attempted to thwart his questions, and he persisted. Muting him was a wise choice. |
Dear Ms. Nettie,
Yesterday while working on my Aces Up badge I saw someone complaining about how they hated Aces Up and others saying that they enjoyed the game, so I mentioned that I like the game and found it relaxing.
The person complaining told me (in the main chat I might add) that this statement disturbed them and then asked if I was part of a bomb squad. This really insults/hurts me because I’m not a bomber nor is Aces Up that kind of game. Pogo has merely taken a classic card game and added a fun twist to make it more enjoyable to play.
When I said it was “relaxing” I meant it was an easy game to play and you don’t have to think very hard while playing, unlike doing a puzzle or something. I don’t know how many others feel this way, but I know aside from RISK Pogo doesn’t have any war/killing games on their site and if any do exist, they would be the same downloadable games found on other sites.
I hope no one else gets treated this way just because they find a game similar to Aces Up “relaxing” or “enjoyable”. Everyone has their own tastes and preferences and while I completely understand some people just do not like certain games I don’t think it’s right when they accuse you of being that kind of person (like someone who likes war and killing/hurting people) for enjoying that particular game.
Thank You,
Very Hurt Pogoer
| Dear Very Hurt Pogoer, I’m sorry that you found this conversation so upsetting. Obviously, I wasn’t there and don’t have the benefit of seeing how the conversation played out. The player was likely frustrated and was taking his or her frustration out on you, which is never the polite thing to do. My guess is that you did attempt to explain yourself, and the player may have been less-than-gracious in response. It sounds like you handled the situation politely. Sometimes you just have to learn to let these comments wash over you like water off of a duck’s back. The player may have been venting, and you were the unwitting victim. If you should find yourself in a similar situation in the future, mute the player and remember that the comment made says more about him or her than it does about you. |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
I read the letter to you concerning the former mother-in-law that undecided felt uncomfortable playing on Pogo with as she had in the past.
As a former mother-in-law, I felt sad that my former daughter in law had all but cut all ties to me after the divorce with my son. We had been very close friends during their marriage and for a time after.
I understand her need to separate herself from the family now, but still it hurts me to have lost such a dear friend.
I hope Undecided writes to her former mother-in-law, and lets her know about her feelings, yet I also hope she continues her relationship with her. I always consider my in-laws as daughters and sons. I feel the loss of one as if it was the loss of one of my own children.
Hoping for a Continued Friendship
| Dear Hoping for a Continued Friendship, Thank you so much for your letter. I received a few letters from former mothers-in-law with similar sentiments. One also pointed out that if the couple had children, it’s a whole different situation. I agree, although the letter itself mentioned no children, so I assumed that was not an issue. Ultimately, however, it really comes down to the individuals involved. It sounded to me like she was leaning towards ending the relationship, as she found it to be a constant reminder of her recent divorce. And unfortunately, when someone is attempting to lessen their own hurt, sometimes others end up getting injured in the process. It seemed to me that both last week’s letter writer and her mother-in-law are good people going through a difficult time, and like you, I do hope that someday they can resume their friendship. |
Have an etiquette question for Ms. Netiquette? Email msnetiquette@pogo.com
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