Hey Nettie, Are People Nuts?

Hopefully your letter will convince those few players who are convinced that the letters that appear in this column are fake that they are, indeed, real. I chose to feature this letter for two reasons – it’s kind of funny for a Holiday weekend, and it does bring up something that we all occasionally encounter – the self-centered person who creates a circle of drama.

Yes, there are folks who do enjoy, for whatever reason, engaging abusers. They’ll allow these folks to upset them, complain about being upset which feeds the abusers even more, and escalates the situation. At first blush, you’d think the “victim” is after sympathy, which may be the case. But mostly it’s attention these folks seek.

I’m no psychologist, but it doesn’t take a doctorate to understand that for the most part Drama Queens and Drama Kings could easily solve most of their issues by simply making better decisions, but they enjoy the attention, and they enjoy the distraction the drama provides them. If you’re being attacked all the time, you must spend the time you might otherwise use productively to defend yourself. It’s a great way to get out of work!

So, yes, people are nuts, and we have to choose them carefully. Some nuts are wonderful. Some not so much. Deleting posts and messages from your guestbook that only serve to feed attention to the wrong kind of nut is a wise move.

Thanks for writing. Let me be clear: I do encourage players to say “ty”, “gg”, “nh” and all the other niceties that go with good sportsmanship. As you pointed out, it can actually make someone’s day and open conversation which can lead to new friendships.

And I encourage players to respond in kind, if they are sincere in their response.

In last week’s letter, the letter writer wanted to play games without being social, so she did not want to engage in conversation. And guess what? That’s fine. There are no rules that say you must chat. She chose not to respond to the niceties, and that’s okay. She didn’t feel like it and had she done it, it would have been insincere.

While getting a “ty” or “thx” or “10q” back is nice, we shouldn’t expect it. It is far more impolite to make an issue out of a perceived slight than it is to not provide the expected reaction. If I say “gg” I have offered a politeness and if I’m sincere I should not expect one back. If I receive one, great. If not, there may be a myriad of reasons why I didn’t and rather than get upset about it, I should understand that it’s not personal and carry on.

Read the next letter for more information on why someone might not be responsive…

Thank you so much for taking the time to write, as you have provided a real-world example why it’s best not to assume that someone is being purposefully rude by not responding. Many people have legitimate reasons for not doing so.

And since we’re talking about acronyms – guess what time of year it is again? It’s time to update the Pogo Player’s Guide to Netspeak! Every year we update an ever-growing list of acronyms commonly used on Pogo (and elsewhere). And who provides these? You do!

By this time, we’ve got a pretty huge list, but times change, so please take a quick perusal of last year’s 2010 Player’s Guide to Netspeak column and send in any you don’t see. Or, if you’ve noticed some brand new ones being used in the past years, just send ’em on over to Ms. Netiquette and we’ll update it for the July 15th column!