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Ms. Netiquette,
I recently broke off a friendship on Pogo that I thought was getting too out of hand. The player was following me, interrupting my conversations, and basically acting childish and demanding attention. I told this player that I couldn’t handle it anymore, and the player flipped out. This player started trying to turn all of my friends against me (which didn’t work) and sending me mean and hateful letters. Never once was I threatened, but it wasn’t a nice thing to do.
A few days later, the player sent me a forward. Well, I hate forwards, but I don’t feel the need to report the people who send them. Anyway, I kindly said to the player not to send me any more messages, to which the reply was “omg, grow up!” I am grown up, and I didn’t think I had done anything wrong!!! Is there anything I should have done differently?
Thanks,
Wrongfully Accused
| Dear Wrongfully Accused,This is a great question. You don’t mention exactly how you told this player that you needed your space, so I’m not sure if there really is anything you could have done differently. Unfortunately, it’s fairly common for those of us who make online friendships to be confronted with a similar situation at some point in our Internet life. If possible the “I Need Space” conversation should take place over the phone or in person. But of course, in many cases, we don’t talk to our online friends on the phone, so for those you in a similar situation I recommend a short, polite note with something in your own language like the following:
If the friend is mature, he or she will read the note and will no doubt feel a little slighted, but will respect your wishes. It’s very difficult for most of us to receive information from someone we consider a friend asking us to back off. Don’t be surprised if this person responds to you coldly. And try not to hold that against him or her. Hurt feelings are hard to get over. In your case, it’s likely that even if you had drafted the most eloquent “I Need My Space” e-mail, this player would have reacted similarly, so there’s probably not a whole lot you could have done differently. |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
I love your column, both fun and informative. Hey, Recently you addressed an issue brought up from a player in High Stakes Poker who bid max on opening bid, all other players folded, and then revealed he/she had a Royal Flush, which upset a certain player who assumed this was a novice not knowing how to coax more bids out of other players. May I add to your (very right on) comments? I think it could also be mentioned that a skilled poker player shakes things up by not always bidding what is expected. And further, that at most real-life poker tables a player is not obligated to show or share their hand to players who have folded. Collect the winnings, smile enigmatically, and move on. “Know when to walk away, know when to run..” Great, now I’ll have Kenny Rogers’ “Gambler” song stuck in my head the rest of the day lol.
Jade
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Dear Ms. Netiquette,
I disagree with the advice you gave on betting in High Stakes Poker. I played friendly poker throughout college, and we bet the hands we were dealt, in general. If you get a straight flush, you bet high. Sucking your opponents in so you can take their money is considered to be in poor taste. I still abide by these rules, although I recognize that others play with their own strategies. I will respect their games choices, and I expect my choices to be respected, as well. Furthermore, playing in a high-stakes room does not mean you necessarily want to steal your opponents money, it simply means you like playing for high stakes. In theory (and in practice, for me) one’s betting habits should not change depending on the size of one’s bet.
Reproachfully yours,
Sarah
| Dear Jade and Sarah,Thank you for taking the time to very politely give me two new views into the more subtle aspects of Poker playing! I apparently did not fully understand when to hold them, nor when to fold them. Furthermore, I could probably use a lesson on when to walk away. However, I do seem to have that knack for knowing when to run! |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
On New Year’s Eve, I allowed my sister to play under my name while she was babysitting my two sons. Four days later, I received notice from Pogo that my account had been “flagged”, and I was stupefied, I knew that I hadn’t done anything wrong. It took awhile for it to dawn on me that it must have been something that my sister had done, although I never thought that she would “abuse” anyone, or jeopardize my account with Pogo.
I wrote to Pogo in hopes that they would understand the situation, and to try to clarify that I am not a bad person, and would not abuse any of EA’s stipulations. The response I received back was rather a “form letter” type of thing, and I was upset by that. Granted; in essence, I was wrong in letting my sister use my account; but I never thought she would do wrong by me, either. I will never let anyone use my Pogo account again… and she won’t be babysitting my children anymore, as well!
My questions are:
What does it really mean when EA says that your account is “flagged”? and….. is there anything I can do to remedy this situation?
I love playing on Pogo, the games….the camaraderie… everything – this is such a disheartening situation for me.
Sincerely,
Sad Sister
| Dear Sad Sister,The bottom line here is that the account owner is solely responsible for everything that happens on the account. So, as you rightly pointed out, your sister’s behavior was ultimately your responsibility. But, it’s certainly not the end of the world, and a “Flag” simply means you’ve been warned once that your account was in violation of Pogo’s Terms of Service. It happens to a lot of good-hearted people who sometimes let a bad word slip, or allow others to use their account. There’s nothing you can do to remedy the situation, other than to never let it happen again. We all understand that mistakes are made on occasion and I assure you, nobody on the Pogo side is looking at your account thinking about this minor infraction. The best thing to do now is to get back on Pogo, continue to play the games you love, grow your relationships and put this behind you! You might even talk to your sister about it and see if you can find some resolution. |
