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Hi Ms. Nettie,
Hope you have a good glass of tea for this one!
I have been playing in a league for awhile now and I also host for the league. I love it when not busy with badges as it adds extra fun to Pogo!
But recently, we accepted a new player to our league who’s causing a disturbance. She claims to even be new to Pogo and the first couple of days she was fine, but now every time she joins us she always finds something to complain about. At first we were sorry to hear her stories and gave her sympathy. But now it’s just out of control. How can I politely address this with the league administrator or to the player to put a end to the this “cry babyness”? I don’t mean to sound mean or anything, it’s just that we all have our own problems and we are supportive of each other, but in this case it happens as soon as she comes into the game. She doesn’t even say “hi” she just goes straight into her problems. Please help before I do something drastic like switch leagues!
Fed Up with Cry Baby
| Dear Fed Up, Chances are that your league administrator has already heard rumblings about this situation, so you’d just be confirming it. League admins have a rough job, and you seem like a helpful person, so my suggestion is approach the league admin with every intention of helping her with this situation. Whether you’re just there for moral support, or take on the burden of approaching the new player, you can make this easier for her or him. The most direct, and often the most effective method, is to make an appointment with the “cry baby” and tell her flat out that this behavior is not acceptable with this league. You can direct her to some self-help web sites or tell her to do a little research to find someone who can help her with her ongoing issues. But be clear that there are boundaries within the league. She’s welcome to talk to anyone who will listen outside of any league activities, but while she’s there, she needs to be more respectful to the others in the league and focus on the league expectations. It won’t be an easy conversation, but the league admin will want to nip this in the bud and act swiftly. |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
I am not one to click the report button very often, but recently I had to. There were terrible racial slurs, threats of actual terrorism (and worse) going on in an uncensored Hog Heaven Slots room. Once I reported this dastardly player, he was automatically muted (thank goodness) and I took your most relayed piece of advice, took a few deep breaths and made myself a hot cup of tea. When I returned a few minutes later, I found the room was STILL trying to get this person to stop with the horrid comments. Although I couldn’t see what the perpetrator was typing, I could clearly see that he/she was upsetting the rest of the room. If you are to believe everything that was said that evening, at least 80% of the room reported him/her. This went on for more than an hour before he/she left, and the next day that same person was back and apparently doing the exact same thing!
Could you PLEASE clarify for me what happens when you report someone? From what I can tell, the reported gets a couple of messages stating that their report was received, but other than that – nothing. I cannot believe that someone could come into a room, use overly obscene language, exhibit racism, and still be allowed to play on Pogo. I also am very aware that swearing is allowed in an uncensored room, but the message that I received stated that I was to remember that “Mild language” was acceptable. What this particular person was saying went far beyond “mild”.
Someone else in the room said that occasionally Pogo WILL suspend an account, but that the perpetrators can just make a new account and start all over. I also noticed that the screen name in question had very few tokens, so this leads me to believe that the “someone else” was correct.
Isn’t there a way where Pogo can block their IP address instead of just their screen name and email address? At this point I am unsure if anything is done at all.
Please clear this up for me once and for all. Episodes like this turn what is supposed to be a fun distraction into a horrible experience that can ruin an entire day or evening for everyone involved.
Thank you,
Sign me: The Reporter
| Dear Reporter, I’m very sorry to hear that you were exposed to such abuse in the uncensored chat room. While the uncensored rooms are a little less strict when it comes to “salty” language, hate speech and the like are never acceptable, and this person should have been removed from the room. If you remember the screen name, please send it forth and I can have it investigated. Unfortunately, it sometimes does take a while before the abuse reports make their way to to the top of the Customer Support queue, and thus there are times when it may take a while before the issue is handled. There are also other factors that may cause a delay. For instance, it could be that the representatives are unable to find clear violations, or the account you saw the next day was actually a new account that just looked like the old one. Now to answer your question about how the reporting system works. After you send in an abuse report, it gets put into a queue. You may receive some periodic messaging about the report. If it happens to be a busy night, it may not float to the top for a while. Once the report reaches one of our Customer Support representatives, he or she will research the reported abuse and take action. Each report includes a snippet of the chat that’s taken place in the particular room, so on occasion you may report one person, but several may find themselves punished for breaking the Terms of Service. As for punishment, first time offenders usually are given a warning. Second time offenders may find themselves unable to play for several days, and anything beyond that will result in warnings, temporary blocks, or account deactivation. Once an account is deactivated, the owner loses everything associated with that account: tokens, rankings, Mini items, badges, badge albums, etc… Each situation is taken case by case, and in some cases, a person may rack up a few warnings for the more minor infractions. Likewise, first time offenders who engage in certain types of behavior can find their account deactivated. |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
You might want to sit back and calm down and drink a couple of cups of tea!
You gave some rather wrong advice to the lady who complained because people in Everybody Loves Bingo said Thank you for wilds without specifying who they were thanking (Ms. Netiquette, 4/30/2010). I have played Everybody Loves Bingo a lot – and I say thank you for wilds all the time at the end of the game – I am thanking the people in general who sent me wilds during the game!
I think a quick “ty” for wilds is much more acceptable than for somebody to sit there and list off everybody who sent them wilds! If it bothers a person so much that somebody may thank people for helping them when they are playing a game – then maybe those people need to mute the ones who are being courteous or need to go out of chat completely! I don’t ever get upset in a game if I see somebody saying “thank you” or “you’re welcome” or any remark that is generally courteous.
That’s what is wrong with our society today – we forgot how to say thank you or be appreciative.
Please and Thank You
| Dear Please and Thank You, Thank you for writing. I did receive a good deal of e-mail about this and those folks could tell I’m not much of a bingo player because I missed one of the most obvious aspects of this situation in my answer. And that is that the game moves at such a rate that it’s often impossible to thank people by name. Apologies all around. Players more familiar with the game rightfully pointed out that it would be difficult to keep up with the all the thanking, and nearly impossible to keep up with the gift givers. Many suggested that players simply say “thanks” at the end of each round. That seems reasonable. You’re being thankful without having to disrupt the game. |
Have an etiquette question for Ms. Netiquette? Email msnetiquette@pogo.com
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