Archives, Ms. Netiquette|March 31, 2006 11:16 AM

Must I Give My Information when Asked that Dreaded “Age, Sex and Location?”


Dear Ms. Netiquette,

Why do people need to know my A/S/L?

I was playing a game when someone starting asking everyone about their age, sex and location. Someone told them that they were over 70! Then we were told that we were too old to play on Pogo, and that Pogo was only for teens! Of course, we all know that’s wrong. Pogo is for everyone over the age of 13. I’m 25 and I love playing Pogo. I have three young kids with special needs and once they go to bed I like to relax and play on Pogo, just to have some time for me. So, I would love to know why people want to know ASL! Can’t they read the user profiles? I thought that was what what they were for!

Thanks for your help!

I Do Not Tell My A/S/L

Dear Do Not Tell,

Anyone who’s ever been in a chat room has seen that “A/S/L” inquiry. Generally, the people asking this question are youngish people looking for other youngish with whom to converse, or flirt. Some younger people do wish to speak to players of their own age because they may share similar interests of their generation. As you get older, age matters less.

The teenager you encountered was, of course, impolite by stating that Pogo was only for teens. There are plenty of very polite teenagers on Pogo, and plenty of not-so-polite ones. Some of them are just going through a phase, we hope.

You never have to answer anyone’s questions on Pogo. If asked “A/S/L?” again, you can be funny, as in “I’m old, female, and playing Poppit! in this room on Pogo.” Or you can politely decline, as in “Thanks for asking, but I’m not interested in giving that information out.” Or you can simply ignore the question entirely and let those who are interested answer.

 

Dear Ms. Netiquette,

I know there are a lot of people in this world who are deeply religious; however, there are plenty who aren’t. I was playing in a room when someone started religious talk by stating that God was coming back and that we had to be ready for him. This person continued on and on for several minutes, even after being asked to stop. I think it is wrong to keep preaching about God when asked to stop. Am I right or wrong?

Don’t Need Preaching

Dear Don’t Need Preaching,

Your question is “Am I right or wrong to believe that someone should stop preaching when asked to cease?” And the answer is simply this: it depends on who you ask. Okay, maybe it’s not that simple, but it’s certainly true. Some people will agree with you, and others will say that if they’re not violating any of the Terms of Service then they can say whatever they want.

And ultimately they are correct. If they are not violating the Terms of Service, then they can pretty much say whatever they want. It doesn’t matter what topic they’re discussing. They can try to convince you that Bach is better than Beethoven, or that John was better Paul and it’s up to you whether or not you want to participate. When dealing with someone who is typing something you don’t want to see, your best bet is to mute them.

 

Dear Ms. Netiquette,

I am responding to your “lengthy” response re: politely steering chat in the rooms to less depressing subjects, i.e. gently reminding someone that people come to Pogo to unwind, and though that player may truly need to offload some major problems, that perhaps privacy would be better.

Well, Ms. Netiquette, I am reluctant to admit, I am occasionally one of those people who need to offload. I do have friends, but they are not always available when I need someone to talk to. And sometimes, talking to strangers does help, BUT there are times I do require a gentle nudge to bring me back to the real world, namely the world of Pogo, and also to remind me that not everyone in that particular room needs depressing thoughts. The ones who help me out are totally wonderful people, but I am grateful to those who also steer me back to the more positive path. It is embarrassing once I realize what I have! been doing. You see, Ms. Netiquette, I use Pogo simply to unwind, and once in a awhile I find myself bringing the entire room down, and I don’t like it! So to all those players who GENTLY, AND KINDLY steer the conversation another way, I say “THANK YOU”!!!

I love your column! Keep up the good work!

Open Minded and Open Hearted

Dear Open Minded and Open Hearted,

Thank you so much for writing. Sometimes a funk is just a funk and a gentle nudge is appreciated. I think we can all relate!

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