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Dear Nettie,
Let me start by saying I love your column! I always make a point to keep up with what you write, and take it to heart, so I can bring my best manners to the table. After all, a little friendly playing can be just what you need to make the day great. However, something that happened recently left a sour taste in my mouth.
Recently, I was in a World Class Solitaire room and some people were having a pretty tasteless conversation. This was a regular non-censored, non-age specific room, and while I won’t repeat everything that was said, some of the conversation was about looking up women’s skirts… and worse. After a few minutes of ignoring it, and hoping that they would stop, someone used the “S” word. Rather than reporting it right away, I thought I would give people a chance, and asked (quite politely I might add) if they could please refrain from using that word, as there may be younger people who were in the room.
For the next few moments, it looked as if they had taken my suggestion to heart! Wow!
How nice is it to simply make a request and that’s that… no reporting, no nastiness… just a friendly request to follow the rules, and everyone keeps playing and having fun.
Sadly, that was not to be. A few moments several of the people began attacking me and saying I am a “chat killer,” and that kids hear these words in school everyday, and some went as far as to insult me personally. I tried to explain I meant no offense, but that the rules are there for a reason; and that’s to make sure everyone can play in a nice environment. I kept trying to explain… rather than just giving up, and I know… you even said we should just ignore, but I asked so politely, and I had hoped to appeal to the better nature of Pogo players.
While most of us are happy to follow the rules, could you please post this letter to remind people that while those of us who remind others of the rules aren’t trying to kill anyone’s fun… just trying to make sure everyone gets a safe and friendly place to enjoy your games without having to be nasty and report people!
Proudly Polite Pogo Player
p.s. I would also like to thank the players in that room who stood up for me, and tried to help me explain that I was just trying to make Pogo a great place for everybody!
| Dear Proudly Polite Pogo Player, I am so sorry that you were treated so poorly by these individuals. By asking them to kindly refrain from using that sort of language was incredibly polite. Unfortunately, instead of taking your request in the spirit it was given, they decided to attack you. This will not always be the case, and I hope that the ignorance and impoliteness of the players involved here will not dissuade you from making similar requests in the future. I have personally witnessed people ask that the chat get toned down, and have seen people tone it down and even apologize for going overboard. Sometimes people get frustrated with a game, or perhaps they spill coffee on their brand new “I Love Pogo” tee-shirt and say things that they wouldn’t normally say. When someone reminds them that what they type can be seen by many, they undergo an immediate reality check and will often make amends and cease with the salty language. Because you are so polite you may not realize when enough if enough. This happens to nice people all of the time. They have difficulty recognizing when nothing they can say or do will have any affect on the abusive player. It sounds like you really did your best to create a dialog with these people and explain your reasoning. If you ever run into a similar situation, you might want to use the old baseball strategy: three strikes and you’re out. In this case, the first strike would be the bad language they were using before you asked them to stop. The second strike would be the response to your request, and the third would be the response to your explanation. So in all, you’ve really only said two things: please stop and here’s why. If they continue to give you a hard time after that, report them and be done with them. You’ve already surpassed the expected politeness on the Polite-O-Meter. And let me just thank you, and everyone who is polite for being so well-mannered. You really do make a huge difference by being pleasant and considerate. |
Hi Nettie…
I love your articles and read them every week. Pogo in its entirety has been a welcome distraction for me these past 14 months…
You posted a response letter to a woman that shared her Pogo password with a friend and then subsequently that person lost her winnings in one of the games due to her “friend” using an automatic game player “at some time”… I have to say, this scares me. I was curious about the automatic game players and so I activated temporarily a couple to see how they work. I soon discovered that although it can be cool to advance in a game faster, there just wasn’t any reward to it and so I don’t use them.
Now for my question… Will Pogo players no longer, ever, no matter what, be able to win a jackpot or other prizes for using an automatic game player? Or do we lose the winnings only if the automatic game player was playing when the prize was won? I think a lot of us need that clarification. Although for some of us it may be too late.
Thank you for taking the time to read my letter,
Curiously Stupid
| Dear Curiously Stupid, If you should win a prize, your account will be audited. If it’s discovered through the audit that you used a cheat program, that prize will be forfeited. It does not matter if you used the cheat program in Poppit!® and won the prize in Word Whomp®. The prize will be forfeited. Several letter writers inquired about these “automatic playing devices.” Many people were wondering what they were. So, for the record, they are programs that people have created that play the games for you. It sounds very tempting to some people, but there are a few things to keep in mind:
These points don’t even take into consideration how impolite it is to others to use cheat programs. I strongly advise players to stay far away from them. |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
This morning I was trying to figure out how to play the game Euchre so I decided to go into a game room and watch it being played. I wasn’t there but about two minutes and I got booted out for possibly being a stalker. I don’t understand. Is that not what watching is for?
I am a 58 year old grandmother and I sure am not interested in stalking anyone. One person said that she reported me and she would see how far it went. I do not want to be tagged as someone like that. I love playing Pogo and would never jeopardize my membership. If they reported my screen name what is going to happen to my membership? I just don’t understand some people. I thought that if the game wasn’t private you could watch. Am I wrong? Please clear this up for me. Do I need to contact anyone else about this?
Thank You
Just Watchin’ Not Stalkin’
| Dear Watchin’ Not Stalkin’, What you did was neither wrong nor rude. It wasn’t exactly polite either, but don’t let that worry you. There was truly no harm done. Even if the players in Euchre did file an abuse report, you have nothing to worry about. Our representatives would see that the report did not contain any Terms of Service violations and would discard the report. The people who booted you had no idea who you were. It is possible that one or more of the players have been stalked in the past, and since they did not recognize your name, they may have been concerned. Don’t hold the fact that they booted you against them, as we do not know what their personal circumstances might be. Instead, take this as an opportunity to learn. If you want to experience a new game, or watch people in action, the best thing to do is to communicate your desire. Simply state: “Hello! I’m interested in learning this game, will anyone let me watch their game?” You may have to repeat this action in several game rooms before you get an answer. And it’s possible that some of those answers might be “no.” However, if you are persistent, it really won’t be long before you find a kind group of people who will oblige your request. Pogo has a lot of very friendly and nice players. It’s just sometimes a little work to find them! Best of luck to you! |
