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Hello Ms. Netiquette,
I was recently in a chat room where there were blatant drug references in the chat. I, for one, am uncomfortable with the subject and simply asked that the people talking about it kindly move the conversation to a private chat. The overwhelming response was that if I didn’t like what I was reading, I should either turn off chat or go to another room.
My position on this subject is that there are no parental controls on the website. Thusly, any child can simply push the “Play Now” link and be sent to any room on the site. Well, ANY person for that matter can do the same thing!
I’d respectfully like to remind others, especially those that engage in socially unacceptable behaviors, to be conscious of the fact that what they talk about can be heard around the world, not just in their own living rooms or dens.
I find it amusing in a sad way that these people always have a “good” reason to support their irresponsible actions. Those are my two cents worth. Thanks for listening.
My best,
Too Much Freedom of Speech
| Dear Too Much Freedom of Speech, Thanks for writing. Let’s, just for a moment, forget the fact that engaging in these sorts of discussions can make others uncomfortable, and thus violates general etiquette. The fact is that discussing illegal matters on Pogo is a violation of our Terms of Service, as seen below:
The chat in this case would be the content, and players discussing illegal activities face more than merely getting their account suspended or shut down – if law enforcement gets involved, they can subpoena the chat and we will provide them as much information as we can about that account. It’s rare, but players have had the police knock on their door over things they’ve said on the Internet. Of course, that is unlikely to happen for discussions centering around personal drug use. But, as you point out, players discussing their illegal activities are doing so in public and should recognize the risk. Now let’s get back to the etiquette side. Conversations about illegal activity, whether online or at a party, cause unrest and are disrespectful to those who are law abiding citizens. Players who engage in any sort of illegal activity should – well, aside from ceasing the activity and turning over a new leaf – take it offline and not subject a room full of strangers to their behavior. But telling a proud lawbreaker to be polite is about as useful as telling a hungry cat to wait five minutes before meowing for food. Thus, you have every right to report these players. Once you’ve done so, they’ll be automatically muted and you will have done what you can to make the environment more hospitable. Of course, when it comes to certain types of drug use, it gets a little tricky in cases where players are discussing illnesses and the use of certain drugs. For instance, if a player is discussing his or her use of medical marijuana, which is legal in several parts of the world, you might simply mute them or politely ask them to take it to a private chat rather than report them. If they have a terminal illness – regardless of whether or not you agree with how to treat it – the last thing they need is to have their account suspended. If the conversation is around the benefits or dangers and not specifically about it being used by the player, then no violation is really taking place, as it’s a discussion of a hot topic and while it may be illegal to use it in some places, there are no laws about discussing its medicinal purpose. In those cases, if you find the conversation objectionable, then you should mute the player and move on. |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
I recently read your column of 10/29/10 regarding the use of Caps is chat. I am shaking my head. While it is true that when reading a book, or magazine, it is easier to read if both upper and lower case is used this does not hold true for chats. We are not talking about whole paragraphs here but a few words. It all depends on the eyesight and the lighting. For some people who have a problem with light sensitivity the use of caps is easier to read in lower lighting settings. Or just maybe their eyesight is poor and not correctable.
But I really don’t understand why some people are so danged passionate about the use of capitals! They must have so little to complain about in their lives they have to pick on minor things and blow them way out of proportion just to have some excitement – or the reverse – have so many problems that they pick on something minute just to take their mind off their problems.
I have been in some rooms where someone is using caps and another player complains about it. I always jump in and tell them that unless they have walked a mile in that person’s shoes they shouldn’t judge their use of all caps – there might be many reasons why that person finds it easier to read chat in all caps, but whatever the reason is there are a lot more important things they should be concerned about – like war, death and taxes (LOL).
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.
Mile of My Own
| Mile of My Own, This subject has been addressed a lot recently so you know I agree with you 100%. I chose your letter because you bring up an important topic that is at the root of all etiquette: understanding others. And this really covers the last two letters of last week’s column (Ms. Netiquette, October 29, 2010). You defend folks by reminding them of the old adage about walking a mile in another person’s shoes. Most etiquette breaches are likely a result of not being understanding of others. “Please” and “Thank You” are the foundation of good manners, and that’s because they wholly take into account the kindness of others. If you want someone to do something for them, you say “please” to let them know that you recognize that they are in a position to be helpful and that you appreciate their consideration. If someone does something nice, you give them recognition by saying “Thank you”. When we judge others, we’re not taking into consideration what their circumstances may be and instead we’re giving our opinion as the situation would pertain to us. This is precisely why it’s considered ill-mannered to expect a “thank you” when someone provides a nicety. Good etiquette is recognizing the good in others and expecting nothing in return. Your letter is a great reminder to us all to take a breath and recognize that while another person’s actions may be annoying to us, they may have a good reason for doing whatever it is that they’re doing. We all have our struggles and an ounce of understanding can lead to pounds of gratitude. |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
When I first discovered Pogo many moons ago, I was watching the chat and one woman mentioned that she was coming to Boston to do the Pink Ribbon Walk. I immediately jumped in and offered to show her around my city. I made arrangements to take her to all the historical sites, battlegrounds, museums, etc. My sister joined us and we had a wonderful day.
A few years later I was visiting California not too far from where she lived. Again we made arrangements to meet up and had a lovely supper together with two very close friends of mine. She stayed for a few hours and she related to us her battle with cancer. As a result I found myself getting involved in the Pink Ribbon campaign each year. And all because of Pogo.
Grateful and Supportive
| Dear Grateful and Supportive, What a wonderful, wonderful letter. Your letter couldn’t have come at a better time, because it’s that time of year again! Thanksgiving is upon us and per our tradition, the next two columns are devoted to the kind words of gratitude from our players. We’ve done this for several years now, and if you’d like a trip down memory lane, you can read the following columns from previous years:
Take a gander at some of those and then please send your own story that you’d like to share to: msnetiquette@pogo.com. This is my favorite time of year, and I so look forward to reading your letters! Thank you! |
Have an etiquette question for Ms. Netiquette? Email msnetiquette@pogo.com
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