Archives, Ms. Netiquette|July 14, 2006 1:46 PM

Shouldn’t We Leave Jackpot Winners Alone?


Dear Ms. Netiquette,

I’ve noticed a number of people complaining in Letters to the Editor about not being able to add certain Jackpot winners to their Friends List, and it got me wondering. Is it really polite behavior to add someone you don’t know to your Friends List and suddenly start sending them messages and following them from room to room just because they won some money? Isn’t that sort of like knocking on a lottery winner’s door and saying, “Hi there. You and I have never met but now that you’re rich I thought you might want to be my friend?”

I realize that Pogo is a social environment and it’s one thing to meet someone in chat while you’re playing a game and then add them to your Friends List because you got along and would enjoy chatting with them again, but it’s another thing entirely to pick a random person whose name you just saw in a bulletin and decide they should be your friend now that they won a Jackpot. Isn’t that just a trifle rude?

Perplexed

Dear Perplexed,

Indeed, it certainly doesn’t show much courtesy to start messaging and following prize winners around from room to room. However, there are some players who are skeptical about people who win prizes and sometimes adding these people to their Friends List reassures them that these people really do exist. If the prize winner is on Club Pogo, the player might look at the profile to see the Prize Winner badge that comes when someone wins a prize.

If this is all the player does, then really there is no harm done. However, if the player begins to follow the prize winner, or starts to send messages to the prize winner, then the player has crossed the line of acceptable behavior and depending on what takes place, could lose his or her account if the matter is reported.

It’s fine to congratulate a prize winner if you run across one in a game room, and if that turns into a conversation, great. And while it is okay to add prize winners to your friends list if you’d like to look at their profile, it is best not to make contact.

 

Dear Ms. Netiquette,

I would really like your opinion on this matter and your readers also. My husband and I have been Pogo players for a few years now. He has many women friends on here and quite to my disliking, engages in Instant Messaging with them and talks to them on the phone. He says there aren’t many men on here to talk to.

He flirts with these women, as they do him. They know he is married and he tells them this but the flirting has really been upsetting to me. However he continues even though he knows I feel this way. Could you ask your readers how they feel about this subject and what their reactions are to it. I feel like a fool everytime I play Pogo now because he tells everyone that I am jealous.

Please Pogo women and men find someone that’s single to tell your problems too and leave the married people alone. Time to Make a Stand in Pogoland.

Dear Time to Make a Stand,

I’m very sorry that you’ve run into this problem. From what you have said, it sounds like your husband is not taking your feelings into consideration, and that is too bad.

While I, and certainly many Pogo players, can empathize with your situation, it would not be polite or fair to ask the Pogo population to weigh in on this particular issue. It is a problem that only you and your husband can resolve.

 

Dear Ms. Netiquette,

I play in Rainbow Rooms quite often as I am a lesbian and like to chat with others who have the same interests. Sometimes we don’t talk at all, but we tend to see the same people and have developed a small community of “rainbow roomies.” We go to these rooms more often because many times we find that we can talk about our partners freely without fear. I have made many friends in Pogo, and finally have met people in the gay community from playing in these rooms.

Thanks to Pogo for bringing together people all over the world!

My issue is with people who come into rainbow rooms and either make derogatory comments such as “You are all sick,” or “You are all going to hell.” Or they will ask questions disguised as innocent curiosity such as “How did you know you were gay?”, then go on to make more bigoted comments.

I know that any Pogo player has the right to play in any room at any time and chat as long as they don’t violate the terms of service. I mute them, ignore them, report them, etc. I know I can leave (although I don’t feel I should have to as I pay for my Club Pogo membership just like they do). Last week at challenge time I met up with my friend in a temporary room because just about all the rooms were full. I was talking about my female partner. It was innocent conversation that had no sexual tone at all when someone in the room typed in “I am double checking the name of this room.” Again, this is a subtle hint that we were not welcome to chat about our significant others.

Why can’t people just let us enjoy Pogo?

Signed,

A Rainbow Roomie

Dear Rainbow Roomie,

Why can’t people just let you enjoy Pogo? Well, some people are just rude. And unfortunately, those people are not going away anytime soon. Thus, you really do have to use the tools at hand to manage your game experience. These tools include the Mute, the Private Chat, and the Report Abuse feature.

If what has been said violates our Terms of Service, then you should report the abuse. When confronted with abuse of any type, it is always best not to respond in anyway to what has been said. Report the abuse, mute the player, recognize that it’s unfortunate that such people exist in the world, don’t let them get to you, and continue to enjoy yourself.

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