Tiki’s Say Sometimes it’s What’s on the Outside that Counts!

Red: Welcome to Tiki Brothers Tip Talk! You’ve just entered our humble abode. I am Red Tiki and this is my bumbling brother Green Tiki. We are doing a little late spring cleaning in our techie-deluxe Tiki Hut.

Green: Oh starting with the insults already, huh? I see how it’s gonna be today!

Red: Well, you are the one who delayed our spring cleaning by two months bringing that stinking driftwood log into the living room, forcing us to move to Pogo Spike’s house for a month!

Green: Dude, FYI, that was going to be the best surfboard ever and it would have multi-tasked as an excellent couch… If I had not discovered that it was filled with 10,000 baby crabs… I HATE TINY CRUSTACIANS! They are so cold, wet and slimy! *shudder*.

Red: Well, apparently they really like the bathroom… and your bed sheets, cupboard, sock-drawer, oh and that warm dusty place behind your computer monitor!

Green: Egad! Don’t remind me! That exterminator bill is going to take me months to pay off! They’re not even that tasty!

Red: On that note, we have a few LATE spring cleaning tips for everyone out there in Pogoland for keeping your computer running great, on the *outside* for a change!

Green: Yep, we’ve talked about the scary things like viruses, spam, and adware *in* your computer, but believe it or not, I’ve seen some things on the *outside* of a computer that are equally as frightening!

Red: And sometimes those things can lead to your mouse, monitor, keyboard or even computer to not function properly! Don’t worry– we’re not going to get technical… we’re going to get cleanical!

Green: Making up new words again, I see. What he means is that we’re going to talk about cleanliness! So, let’s start with your computers mouse. About ninety five percent of computer mice nowadays are what is called “Optical” mice. If you see a red or blue glowing light on the bottom of your mouse and a little lens, that’s what you have!

Red: Great, so first tip: if you have a wired mouse, make sure you have enough slack on the cable to let you use the full range of motion. If you don’t, try adjusting the layout of your desk and computer case so the cord has plenty of length. If all else fails, a USB Extension cable can be found online for around five bucks. Or, if your feeling spendy, try a wireless mouse. Also, make sure there are no obstructions to your mousing movement. You do have a mouse-pad don’t you?

Green: Speaking of mouse pads. Some mouse pads can cause weird issues with the “eyeball” in an electric mouse when you move the mouse quickly. If you get weird jumpy movement of the mouse cursor when you move it quickly, try using the mouse on a few different surfaces, like a sheet of paper. If you get better movement there, try a mouse pad made for optical mice.

Red: Now let’s flip your optical mouse over, and take a look at its glowing red belly. You should look for three major things. First, the little lens (it looks like a tiny magnifying glass). Second, the mouse feet, there should be 3-4 raised rubber feet (usually covered in gunk!) finally three; a little window with a red or blue light behind it.

Green: Let’s clean these things! Usually all you will need is a cotton swab with one end moistened. Gently clean off the lens with the wet end, and dry it with the dry end. Make sure you get any hair and other junk off of it. Next, clean the gunk off the feet, this should improve your mouse movability. Finally, clean off the window for the light. Flip that bad boy over, and you may be surprised on how well your mouse works again!

Red: The final thing I want to mention about your mouse– if you happen to still have a mouse with a mouse-ball underneath and it’s not working as well as you think it should be, you may want to consider swapping it out for an optical. I’ve seen them for less than 10 bucks at most computer super-stores and mega-marts. They work about a hundred times better than a rolling mouse in my not-so-humble opinion.

Green: Moving on, let’s take a look at your computer monitor. I know you are already looking at it (unless you printed this out!) So, is your monitor covered in dust, grime and sneeze particles like Red’s monitor?

Red: DUDE! GIMME A BREAK! I HAVE ALLERGIES!

Green: If you’re having trouble seeing all of the gunk, turn off your monitor and your room lights, then shine a lamp at a side angle to your monitor, all that grime should visually “pop” out.

Red: *sniffle* uh… Cleaning this stuff off is tricky, since monitors can be delicate. First thing to remember is never spray anything directly on your monitor. There are a few ways to go. You can use a very soft cloth or paper towel, and slightly dampen it. Then gently wipe dust and grime off the screen. Then use a dry cloth to dry off the monitor.

The other option is to get “monitor wipes” from your favorite super-mart that sells cleaning supplies. Follow the instructions on the container. The cool thing about monitor wipes is, they are usually “anti-static”. That means they try to repel dust from attaching to the monitor again. Anti-static wipes can’t repel sneezes though!

Green: Correct Red. Did you know that a sneeze can come out at over 100 miles per hour! In your case I think its closer to 200!

Red: *Sigh* Okay… well moving on! Green, I have a present for you.

Green: What? Really? For me? Now I feel bad for making so much fun of you! What is it! Gimme gimme!

Red: It’s a special treat just for you– a handful chopped nuts!

Green: Oh, awesome! Thanks… *munch* *munch*… tasty… where did you get them? We haven’t gone to the grocery store in week or two.

Red: Like the squirrell that you are, you’ve been storing them! I just shook the bits out from your keyboard!

Green: *GAG*! OH GROSS! *Spit*! DUDE THAT IS SO NOT COOL! TRUCE!

Red: Yup, it’s time to clean your keyboard like I just did with Greens! First thing you will want to do is shake out some of the junk that loves to collect inside a keyboard. First shut down your computer, you don’t want to accidentally press a key you didn’t want to!

Next grab a few large paper towels, and flip your keyboard over, and start shaking the crud out of it. Try not to be too surprised with what falls out! Hair, various food crumbs, fingernail clippings, paper clips, etc. heck I even found a dime once!

Green: *Cough* After that, try scrubbing some of the finger-dirt off your keyboard. A damp cloth or paper towel works for this too. Make sure its not dripping, and simply rub each key gently to clean off the grime. To get between the keys, a cotton swab can help. It’s nearly impossible to clean every last thing, but this can really help if you have a major suck key on your keyboard. If all else fails, or– heaven forbid– you spill some soda, tea or coffee on your keyboard, a new quality keyboard can be found online or at the store for usually under 20 bucks.

Red: Also keep in mind that if you are on a laptop, you should be extra careful when you are cleaning. Laptop keyboards are not so easy or cheap to replace.

Green: And like Red’s pet box turtle Greggory, laptops don’t take too kindly to being flipped over and shaken!

Red: GREEN! You stay away from Greggory! I told you he hates it when you stare at him with your crazy eyes! Makes him Nervous!

Green: We wouldn’t want that! And let’s not be nervous as we move on to our final cleaning project. Let’s clean your computer case.

Red: Many people call this the “Hard Drive”, but thats not really accurate. Its kind of like calling your “Car” your “Gas Tank”. Your computer case is simply the box that everything plugs into.

Green: Right, the thing with the automatic coffee cup holder!

Red: DUDE! Thats a CD-ROM DRIVE not a coffee cup holder! You’re gonna break something!

Green: I know, but thats all I ever use it for anymore! HAHA!

Red: Oh brother… Anyhoo! So, the most important thing that most computer cases need a little spring cleaning is on their main power-supply and rear vents.

Green: Your computer is still off right? Turn it off AND unplug the power cord this time.

Great, now grab your vacuum cleaner and attach the wand. Look on the back of your computer, and most likely you will see some vents with mounds of dust in them. Your computer sucks in air through these vents to cool off the power supply and some of the other components. If too much dust gets stuck here, it can lead to “bad things” including slow performance, system crashes, and eventually even system failures!

Red: Get as much of this dust out as possible so you can get some real good flow through there again. You probably wont be able to get it all out of there, and unless you are very experienced with this kind of thing, we don’t recommend you open your computer case.

Green: And now for the last thing… since you have been “mucking” around behind your computer case, be very careful to make sure all the plugs don’t get dislodged. Or, take note of all their locations and unplug everything then re-plug everything back in securely when your done, if your good at that kind of thing. Or, if you have a digital camera, just take a few pictures back there, so you can remember where everything goes! You should do that anyway– you never know when that might come in handy!

Red: Yeah! send us before and after pictures of the back of your computer, we want to see how clean you got it! HAHA!

Green: And speaking of “sending us stuff”, we now have an e-mail address! Yes, you heard us! You can contact us directly with technical questions, but before you hit the “send” button– note that we don’t answer technical support questions! We’re just looking for questions that we can answer for this column. If you need technical support, then you’ll want to visit the Pogo Help Pages!

Red: That’s right! We can’t respond to all of the letters we anticipate getting, but we may use your question in an upcoming article! So, here it is– tikibrothers@pogo.com! Original, isn’t it?

Green: About as “original” as those nuts you fed me!

Red: Well, they were originally yours!

Green: Enough already! Thanks everyone for joining us, and we look forward to seeing some before and after pictures!