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Dear Ms. Netiquette,
In the past week, I’ve ran into an overabundance of chat discussions with extremely graphic descriptions of physical ailments to the point where a player in a game the other night had to leave because she was nauseated.
While we all have personal topics that could become “chat material”, I cannot help but feel that some of these should be in a private chat if there is someone in a room who is interested and wants to hear graphic and gory details.
Perhaps a little reminder from you on the “News” page or in the “Forum” might make a difference. I know the option of muting chat exists but it’s a shame that players have to miss out on participating in the chat because of inconsiderate players.
Thank you,
Not Everyone Wants to Know
| Dear Not Everyone Wants to Know, In an ideal world, or at least in an ideal chat room as the case may be, people would take these sorts of chat subjects to a private arena. Life, alas, isn’t always ideal. Yes, the polite thing to do when you’re discussing deeply personal topics is to discuss them privately. It’s not only polite, it’s actually smart. You don’t know who’s watching the chat, and giving unknown strangers deeply personal information can come back to haunt you in unexpected ways. Unfortunately, there are people who, for whatever reason, do not “get” these truths. They are oblivious to the discomfort their chosen topic causes for others, and they don’t see the danger in providing such information. Hopefully at least a few folks who engage in such discussions will recognize themselves in this column and commit to keeping their future conversations private. But, the reality is that you will, from time to time, come across players who blabber on endlessly about personal issues of which you find distasteful. Your best bet is to employ the “mute” as soon as you recognize that the topic is not to your liking. You don’t have to mute the entire chat room, so you can still enjoy and partake in chat with others. You could also gently remind them that their chat is not private. A simple “This conversation may be better suited for a private chat. :)” might do the trick. It might also prompt the conversers into attack mode, so there is some risk. |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
I am an avid Christian, so I try to always play in the Spiritual rooms if they are available. But lately I have noticed some rather rude people in them – mainly on badge day.
When I enter a spiritual room for badges or just to play, I usually say “hi e1, gl and GBU” the other day I said this along with a couple of others and we were told by someone to “SHUT UP and GET OUT”. I thought ‘how rude’ but didn’t let it get to me. A few people left for a calmer room.
I feel if they are in the Spiritual room, they are there to chat on that topic. But it seems even the Spiritual rooms are not sacred anymore.
What do you think we as Christians should say to those who clearly are not when they behave this way without starting a fight?
I hate fighting, and try to avoid it at all costs. I think mute would be an option, but as a follower of Jesus, I have to remember that if it was Jesus playing this game and was told this, He would not mute them, but try to make them understand that we are all able to play in peace.
Please let me know if we are doing right?
Spiritually Being Dragged Down
| Dear Spiritually Being Dragged Down, It is unfortunate that certain types of people get some sort of thrill by going into a clearly marked room and disrupting it. Most of the people who enter the Spiritual rooms recognize that the folks in there share a common interest in the spiritual side of life. I’m in no position to guess what Jesus might do in this situation. However, I can tell you that realistically it’s very unlikely that anyone who has come into the room specifically to disrupt it will be willing to listen. You could certainly try to reason with these people, and once in a blue moon you might even reach them. While I don’t recommend it, if you decide to go this route, you should set a limit as to how long you’re willing to discuss this and how much abuse you’re willing to take. That’s the bottom line, really. If I’m only interested in creating chaos in a room, and you’re willing to talk to me, you are likely only adding fuel to the fire. You’re opening yourself up for potential abuse. It’s a risk, and you have to decide whether or not it’s worth taking. I’ll be up front with you. I don’t think the risk is worth it. If it backfires, you may find yourself with a stalker. Or worse. You could end up with someone who pretends to have “seen the light” and pretends to be your friend, only to lead you on, gather information, and eventually cause you great emotional trauma. Furthermore, by engaging these players in chat, you do encourage them. If they are successful at getting you to try to reason with them, they will likely continue to disrupt your room and others. By muting them and ignoring their bad behavior, you take the thrill out of their shenanigans and they will eventually get bored and move on. So, my suggestion is to pray for them that they may find peace in their lives and grow into better people, and then mute them. |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
I love reading your columns, even though 90% of it seems there is trauma in Pogo Land! The reason I’m writing too you today is on a more positive note.
The thing is Ms. Netiquette, I would like some “Pogo Friends”. I have many friends in real life, but none of them are games/puzzle/card players… and I sometimes wish I had some friends to play with on here.
The reason I’m writing is to ask you the best way to go about this? I know there are leagues, but this isn’t something that interests me. I don’t want to also go up to random strangers and say will you be my friend? (*snigger*). I was wondering if anyone else is in this situation… And what would you advise me to do?
Many thanks,
Miss Socialite
| Dear Miss Socialite , Thank you for writing. I’m sure there are plenty of others in the same situation. The hard part is, as they say, “getting over yourself”. As humans, we tend to obsess way too much on how others perceive us. We’re worried people won’t like us, so we don’t take the risk of starting new friendships – online or otherwise. The reality is that some people will like you, and some people won’t. Your best bet is to be yourself. As for ways to find friends on Pogo, I suggest you use the Pogo Forums as a starting point. People who go there, for the most part, tend to be friendly, talkative and positive. Yes, you’ll find trolls and “Negative Nellies” in the Forums, but you can read the posts and decide if you like the way a certain person communicates and decide if you want to attempt a friendship. You could also post to the Ms. Netiquette portion of the Forums and let folks know that you are “Miss Socialite” and you’re looking to make a few new online friends. Do be careful, of course, and take things slow. There are risks involved (as mentioned above), but overall, I think you’ll be able to find nice, fun, kind-hearted people there and hopefully make a few friends. |
Dear Readers,
It’s that time again! Every year we get to update the Pogo Player’s Guide to Netspeak. We’re looking for new acronyms not found on last year’s list. We’re also looking for a few Super Chatters to help us clean up those acronyms that are so rarely used that they don’t really need to be on the list.
If you’d like to help, take a look at the list, and send your thoughts to msnetiquette@pogo.com. The column will be published on July 23.
Have a lovely weekend!
Ms. Netiquette
Have an etiquette question for Ms. Netiquette? Email msnetiquette@pogo.com
Want to chat with others about this column? Visit the Pogo Forums!
