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Dear Ms. Netiquette,
I have complained to Pogo before about being stalked. There is a person who is ruining my Pogo experience. I play bridge. This person played in the past as my partner, but was not a very good player. After a while, I told her nicely that I would prefer to be on my own rather than continuing our partnership. Now she follows me everywhere. She signs on with new names almost daily, and tries to sit at a table where I am. She then leaves the table so that the play cannot continue or becomes belligerent. The people at “Help” have told me just to ignore her and she will go away. Well, it has been 1 1/2 years now that this has been going on. She also signs on with names similar to mine, maybe dropping a digit or something. If I start a new name, within about half an hour, she will find me anyway. She has a few computers so that she often is both of the opponents I am playing against. Also, some of her names and what she puts in her profiles are suggestive sexually to say the least.
If I am chatting with a partner, she very often chimes in with something or other. She also has come to my table as a watcher, just to make me nervous.
I Am Just Sick Of It.
| Dear Sick Of It, One and a half years is a long time to have to put up with someone stalking you. You say that you’ve been ignoring her for that long, yet she continues to follow you around. This is most unusual. For the most part, abusers are after one thing, and one thing only: attention. When they get attention, they are “fed” in a way and they keep coming back for more. If you stop “feeding” them, they usually look elsewhere. This individual appears to be an atypical abuser. If you feel that you are in any kind of physical danger from this person, then you should contact your local authorities. Pogo will work with the authorities to help in any investigative work. The first thing you should do is activate the Friends List feature that allows your screen name to appear offline to anyone who is not on your Friends List. Simply go to your Friends List, look towards the bottom and click “Blocked Players List.” You will be taken to a new page that says “Block a Player.” From here, click on the checkbox under the “Blocked Players List” that says “Show my current location to players on my Friends List only.” This will prevent anyone who is not on your Friends List from seeing you. If she ends up finding you another way, then you should mute her immediately and ask that any of your friends do the same. If she is still making you uncomfortable, then have your friend click the “Show my current location to players on my Friends List only” check box, and move to another room. If you are not already a Club Pogo member, you might consider joining so that you can play in the Members Only rooms, and have access to Private Chat. This is one more step towards removing the abuser’s access to you. Plus, in order for her follow you, she would need to have a Club Pogo account herself, or be given a guest pass. |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
– – First of all: Your column is great!
It’s incredible how many people comment pro and con on the chats, though. Sometimes it is annoying or depressing to read some of the conversations. However, as you have pointed out numerous times, we all have the ability to mute those people.
I do have a suggestion, though (and maybe you have suggested it in the past): For those who go on and on and on in their chatting, making it difficult for other players to chat a little, they really should go into Private Chats for that more personal stuff. It boggles the mind, how many players air their personal problems right out there in front of the entire room!
It really would be nice if the players holding lengthy, personal conversations could consider going Private. On the other hand, we might be missing out on a lot of laughs if they did that: They must not realize that some of us are sitting in the game rooms, reading their chats, and laughing at them, or muttering to ourselves how silly their troubles are, or how badly they are handling them!
Mostly an Observer
| Dear Mostly, While I certainly don’t condone the laughing at other people’s problems, you do bring up a good point. Private Chat is an excellent place to hold conversations that contain personal information. Players who discuss intimate details of their lives in a public chat room do risk more than someone silently laughing at them. You do not know who is in the room, and as we learned in the last letter, there are, sadly, some people who make it their business to cause problems for others. When a player gives out information in a public chat room, he or she runs the risk of having someone note that information, and collect it. This ne’er-do-well may choose to follow that chatty player to whichever game room he or she visits and silently start to put together enough information on him or her to cause problems. This is not said to scare anyone from chatting, but rather to give some advice: be careful of what you say in the chat rooms. If it is something personal, please consider using the Private Chat feature. |
Ms. Netiquette,
Am I wrong in thinking its a little rude to just leave a game without saying anything? I don’t have to have a big conversation when playing, but a simple “bye” wouldn’t hurt. And how about those who leave in the middle of a game when they get behind in the score? Many a game I have to finish with a robot. Not a big deal, I guess, but it is one of those mysteries I can’t figure out.
Thanks for listening,
Pleasantries Enhance the Experience
| Dear Pleasantries, No, you are not wrong to think it is a little rude to just leave a game without saying anything. But, the emphasis is on the word “little.” It’s very easy to forget that when we play games online, we are often playing with other living humans. It’s impossible to know the reason why someone might leave a game without saying goodbye, but there may be a legitimate excuse. Perhaps the person lost the connection to the Internet, and he or she didn’t intend to leave. Or maybe the opponent received a phone call requiring immediate action, and he or she simply didn’t have time for pleasantries. In many cases I imagine players are happily playing at work — on a break of course — and the break ends just as the boss happens to start walking down the aisle. Whatever the case, it is a little rude, but we really shouldn’t let it peeve our poodles. |
