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Hi Nettie!
I have a couple of questions here.
I was in a blackout Fortune Bingo room, working on the badge, when a new player (Player A) came in and asked if this was a room where everyone waits for all the numbers to be called so that everyone can win. We said no. Player A informed us that that’s what “blackout” MEANS, and I explained that it just means that the first player to fill in a card completely gets bingo.
Player A said other rooms had said blackout rooms are the place to go for a sure win. I said some rooms do agree to help each other out, but since there were so many people in ours, it was probably best to be fair and play by the rules. Player A insisted and griped, and that’s where Player B comes in. Player B said, very politely, that if Player A didn’t like the way we were playing, they were welcome to find another room. Another person put in that there are some rooms designated for what Player A wanted.
After more griping from Player A, Player B tried to calm things down by saying, “it’s just a game”, to which Player A said, “whatever. you’re probably just an old fart”. You’d be proud of this, Nettie; Player B didn’t rise to the bait. B stayed calm and polite, and finally Player A simply left the room (after giving Player B a happy face, to boot!)
Here are my questions:
- Are there really bingo rooms designated specifically for players who want to wait for all numbers to be called?
- Is calling someone ‘an old fart’ against the TOS? It’s name-calling, but not profane.
Proud of Player B
| Dear Proud of Player B,Three cheers for Player B! Player B has obviously adopted a manners-filled online demeanor. Staying calm and in control when someone is obviously trying to upset you is not an easy thing to do, but those who make the effort find the payoff is immediate. It’s a great feeling to be able to recognize that you’re being baited and managing to stay calm throughout it. It also makes others admire you. As for your questions, Player B is correct in that there are some Bingo rooms in some of our Bingo games designated for sharing, but not for Fortune Bingo specifically. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t people who do try to control the actions of others in some rooms. It’s an unfortunate situation for both parties. Trying to get people to forego the norm and play by your rules can be frustrating, and being told how to play the game in a particular room can be annoying, to say the least. In Fortune Bingo, the rules are clear. It’s a bingo game. When you have bingo, you call it. Much like you would in a Bingo hall. Imagine trying to get everyone to share the bingo in a real life bingo hall! As for your other question, yes indeed that is a Terms of Service violation. It’s considered hate speech in regards to age. It specifically targets a group of people and is derogatory. Player A could have been reported for this. |
Hello Ms. Nettie,
Grab some tea and enjoy.
I was playing in Double Deuce Poker and there were some people who were being bothered by some guy. They were saying that they were going to report him I suggested, as you do, for them to mute him.
They did so, but only for all of 60 seconds. One piped in and said I unmuted him and he is not talking. Then a few minutes later another woman was having the same problem and I again suggested she just mute him.
She said “I should not have to mute him just so I am not bothered by the scumbag.” I was aghast and thought that in all the time she was moaning how weird he is and all, that she could have muted him and moved on.
I guess it does not matter to some people that the mute feature is there as they would rather be in the middle of the drama.
Thanks for listening Nettie and have a great day.
Have Mute – Will Not Unravel
| Dear Have Mute – Will Not Unravel,Well, it all boils down to how you want to shape your online experience. For you, you realize that a never-ending soap opera is, well, never ending! And that soap operas are wrought with upset and negativity that you have wisely decided you don’t want in your life. Others, like the players you encountered, for whatever reason, enjoy the drama. And for them, there’s always plenty of it. Generally, it is thought that people who immerse themselves in the drama of others do so to avoid having to deal with their own issues. That’s likely what’s going on with this person. So, in order for you to keep your piece of mind, I’d suggest just muting the non-muter and let her stew. You could politely mention that you’ve found that your Pogo experience has been enhanced by frequent use of the mute feature, and perhaps others will ponder that thought and do likewise. |
Dear Ms. Nettie,
I was reading your column this week and I have to say I also get tired of people complaining about their health, families and such. I think there is a time and place for it. I agreed with all the advice you gave Peeved with Problems (Ms. Netiquette, May 14, 2010) until the very end.
You lost me when you said that you should mute someone when you recognize that that person is starting to talk endlessly about their particular host of problems. To me it is extremely rude to say “Hi, how are you?” and then mute them when they start go on and on about their problem.
I would personally think that if they go on and on it would be better to politely tell them that you are sorry to hear about their woes. Then, if they continue then tell them nicely that you are just on to have fun and play the game that you do not want to discuss such things. Then if they still go on or get upset with you then mute them.
But I think it is rude to mute some one for excessive talking to you and not let them know it bothers you and that you are going to mute them. Maybe they do not realize they are doing anything wrong.
Etiquette First
| Dear Etiquette First,You are absolutely right and I appreciate you pointing that out to me. I should have thought that answer through and given the advice you suggested. If you ask the person how they’re doing and they go on and on about everything, you do have the responsibility of having asked the question in the first place, so you really should deal with it as tactfully as possible. I like your suggestion of listening to the person for a while, and politely empathizing with them before expressing your own needs to the over-talker. A simple “I’m sorry to hear about your problems, and I hope they get better. I love coming to Pogo to get respite from the real world myself, which I’m about to go do. Take care!” should hopefully let the other party know that you were listening, that you do care, but that you’re here to play and the conversation is over. It can be a challenge to kindly exit this sort of conversation, and I really should have offered a more thorough response. Thanks for taking the time to set me straight. |
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