FREE Bonus Tokens, Promotions, Amazing Minis, Sweepstakes & more!
Hats, mugs or t-shirts and more at the 
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
First let me say that I love Pogo’s relatively new method of gifting friends. Being able to share the bounty of badges and beautiful Mini items is grand.
That said, I have to admit I’ve been feeling a little uncomfortable lately. Every morning I wake up to a bevy of gifts from a handful of people I don’t even know! These aren’t things I would have purchased myself and will never use, but I thank the givers and let it go. Recently I asked that they not focus on me so much and instead spend their hard-earned tokens on others, but that did little to amend the situation. I ended up changing my Gift Settings to Friends Only, which made me a little sad.
So, I ask you, is there a time when giving isn’t a gift? I feel sad that I will never use these items, that the givers will never see their gifts used, and that the givers wasted tokens they could have used for themselves or others.
I confess too that I worry about their motivation – why give things to people you don’t know? Is my thanks adequate or do they expect something in return? I know it’s wonderful to give and Virtual Gifting makes it so much easier and affordable, but where does one draw the line? Some folks say just shush and be grateful. Is that the answer?
Thanks so much,
Thankful But Confused
| Dear Thankful But Confused, Good etiquette dictates that if you receive a gift unexpectedly that you did not expect, that you simply say “thank you” and be done with it. There is no expectation that you return in kind. Giving a gift should be a thoughtful gesture from one friend, family member, or business acquaintance to another. As to why people are giving things to complete strangers, I can’t say. Perhaps you are a friendly person, and maybe your bubbling personality endears you to others in such a way that they want to give you something. It could be something in your profile. If these gift givers are giving you things from accounts that are relatively new, then it could be that you do have someone with less-than-kind intentions giving you unwanted attention. If that’s the case, you’ll want to discuss your options with our Customer Support Department. Hopefully it’s more of the former and none of the latter. If so, and it really makes you sad to have your Gifts options in your Profile Settings set to only accept gifts from friends, then you may simply want to wait a few weeks then turn them back on to see if the situation has changed. If you do find people continuing to give you gifts, then you may just want to put that setting back to accept gifts only from friends. As for your question, “is there a time when a gift really isn’t a gift?”, it really does go to motivation. There are those who give gifts solely because they enjoy it and they believe that the recipient will have an appreciation for it. There are the traditional gifts given on holidays and birthdays. And then there are people who give gifts for the wrong reasons: to get something in return, to make someone feel guilty, to drive home some sort of point, or to make up for some wrong they committed rather than offer an apology. My guess is that the gifts you were receiving were from friendly people who just love to give things to people. The tokens to them are free and can be made up in a short time playing their favorite game. You’re under no obligation to return in kind. |
Dear Nettie,
It seems to me that most problems that people write about in the letters they send to you can be solved by using the mute button – at least one per column. I was just wondering – do you ever get tired of giving the same advice over and over again?
A Faithful Reader
| Dear A Faithful Reader, Thanks for your letter. Although I do tout the “mute” feature often as one of the ways that a player can take ownership of his or her experience, most of the time the letters that get published have some form of unique etiquette question. Of course, that’s not always the case! I know that some issues are asked multiple times, and I will respond to similar issues again, since not everyone is a faithful reader, like yourself, and it may be new to them. |
Dear Ms. Netiquette,
First, I’d like to point out that the player of last week’s “Other Side of the Fence” letter (Ms. Netiquette, 3/12/2010) did indeed handle the situation very well based on the fact that they believed they were in a sharing room.
The only thing that was neglected in that particular scenario is the fact that rooms that say ‘sharing’ actually do not permit a player to call bingo before the 70th number was called. It is impossible to do, no matter how hard you try. The programmers at Pogo made it so those rooms actually ‘force’ sharing to occur, which is fine; they are listed as sharing rooms that very reason. It is quite likely that the player entered a room that they thought was a sharing room, but clicked on the wrong room by mistake. So the player was not actually in a sharing room; in which case others would be permitted, by the game itself, to call bingo early.
Please remind players that in actual sharing rooms it simply is not possible to call bingo earlier than the 70th number, and make certain they have clicked on the correct room.
Disclaimer: Unless you fine folks at Pogo accidentally labeled a room as sharing without making it a sharing room; in which case, ‘whoops’ on your part.
Hole in the Fence
| Dear Hole in the Fence, Yep! It looks like I missed an important piece of information in last week’s column, and I appreciate you (and all my friends on the message board) pointing it out to me. If the player was indeed in a “Sharing” room, then the others in the room would be forced to wait until the 70th ball is called. It’s possible she was either in a non-sharing room, or as you suggested, that a room was misnamed as “Sharing” when it should not have been. If you happen to know of any rooms that are mislabeled as such, please let me know and I’ll contact the appropriate people to have it fixed. Have a wonderful weekend everyone! |
Have an etiquette question for Ms. Netiquette? Email msnetiquette@pogo.com
Want to chat with others about this column? Visit the Ms. Netiquette section of the Pogo Forums!
